The story of Josh and I

April 24th 2016- Met Josh hiking Havasupi Falls
Josh and I were both asked to join a group of people to go hike Havasupi Falls. I wasn't going to go due to the amount of school work, money and the thought of hiking 10 miles out with a 30lbs bag on my back. He wasn't going to go because he had never done anything like that before. We both felt strongly about going though, and I thank God often for helping us both get there. The first time I saw him I thought "Well he is cute." I manipulated the situation so I could sit by him in the car for our 10 hour excursion to AZ. We started talking and talking. It was easy. It was natural. It seemed like it was just us two in the car. Ethan did end up asking Josh to switch him cars half way in, Josh said this ticked him off, but being his kind self he switched cars.

The best part of meeting Josh this way was that he knew what I looked like at my absolute worst. After not showering for 3 days and hiking about 30 miles in 3 days, you definitely look like a hot mess. Right before the trip ended Josh asked everyone for their numbers, later I found out that he did that just to get my number. That he didn't really care about anyone elses number except for mine. (I totally knew what he was doing, but we will let him think that he was super sneaky and smooth. :)) 

April 28th 2016- First Date-Marshmallow mates/Speed

While we were on our trip, I mentioned that I never loose at the game of speed. He was pretty convinced that he could beat me. We also talked about how I couldn't never find marshmallow mates at the grocery store, Smiths. We made two bets, one being that he wouldn't beat me at speed. The second being if there was marshmallow mates at Smiths, then I would have to pay for them for him, but if there wasn't, he would have to find them and buy me a bag. The day after being home, Josh texted me and asked if I wanted to fulfill this bet. 

That night we went to Smiths and we couldn't find them, I thought I had won and while we were walking away he spotted a big bag of them. I ended up having to pay for a big bag, we took them home and while eating multiple bowls together, we played speed. I lost the first time we played which was pretty humiliating. But every game after that, I creamed him. :) It was fun. We then ended up going to his place and played this baseball game with a bunch of people who lived in his ward. We went to flapjack Thursday at Micheal's after and then continued to play more card games. 

I didn't think much after this night. I thought he was a nice guy and I had fun with him, but nothing more. I was still set on being single. 

May 3rd 2016- First "official date"- Rode in the back of a truck, played tennis, slack lining, pita pit, kung fu panda 3.

A few days later Josh called me while I was at work and asked me out for that night. I was so excited that I was actually free. He came and picked me up at 6 and off we went with Wade (his roommate) and Lacey (his girlfriend at the time), Brittney (Lacey's roommate) and Casen (Josh s other roommate), Nate (a guy we went to Havasupi with, who I knew from Junior High) and his girlfriend Lecil (who is the Ex girlfriend of my ward friend Taylor Meadows). We ended up having to ride in the back of Nate's truck, which was so much fun. We laid down in the back of his bed and stared at the sky while talking/laughing. I remember looking at him and thinking "Oh no, I think I might like this guy...and he looks really good in blue (he was wearing a blue shirt)!!" We went to Kiwanis park and did slack lining, which neither of us was really great at. Then we played Tennis, which he was much better than I was. After we went to Pita Pit and while there we decided we wanted to go to the dollar theater and watch Kung Fu Panda 3. While we were there, I wanted him to hold my hand the entire movie. I even put it on my thigh, trying to give him the sign. Seeing that this was our first actual date, I was sort of freaking out that I already wanted him to hold my hand, but I really wanted him to. At one point I leaned forward and he scratched my back, which is my weakness. 

He never ended up holding my hand, which I was kind of happy about because I felt like he cared more about me than just the physical side of a relationship. 

We rode home in the back of the truck and pointed out star constellations. After we got to my place I asked him if he wanted some more marshmallow mates, which he ended up letting me keep from loosing the bet. He accepted and we ended up eating marshmallow mates and talking till 12. 

May 4th 2016- Hike Stewart falls, held my hand, kissed me.
Josh had been on call this night and ended up not getting called in. I invited him over to make dinner together and go on a hike, We made lettuce burritos and then headed off to Stewart Falls, one of my favorite hikes. Something that I love about Josh and I is that we can talk for hours without ever stopping. We talked about so many different things, we observed the flowers and the weird trees, the birds and the views. We hiked to the top of Stewart Falls and talked about how we both have struggled with weight/self-confidence issues. This conversation meant a lot to me. I was able to tell him about my struggles from the past and he shared with me his own. I felt like I was able to connect and relate with him. He understood what it was like to have to watch what you eat, having to exercise to stay fit and how to love yourself, despite how you look.
When we took these pictures, I think both of us realized "Wow, we look really good together!" I know I sure did. This made me think, "maybe I really do like this guy." We started hiking back, I was telling him about how Micheal Nixon had to grab my hand the last few switch backs on the Havasupi trip. While I was talking about it he said, "Like this?" and then he grabbed my hand. I was a little shocked, but super happy. I secretly wanted him to hold my hand the previous night during the movie, so I was happy he finally did it.
We held hands while hiking down the mountain, but first we stopped at the cement circle thing to wait for it to get dark and see the stars. We sat on this cement thing for about an hour. I said to him "I'm going to take you holding my hand as a sign that you are interested in me." He agreed and told me how much he liked me. We talked about our past relationships and I told him all about Stefan. I told him how much I cared for Stef and our whole story. At the end, he told me how he tries to live by two scriptures, one being that every soul is great in the sight of God. He told me how he would be more disappointed in me if I didn't keep my close relationship with Stefan. He told me that because of the love I have for him shows him what type of missionary I was. He told me that He would never ask me to stop talking to him.
I was amazed by his response. I felt so much peace and I knew that this guy was a good guy. We finally left, without seeing the stars because they never came out, be we had an incredible chat. While walking back we heard some sketchy noises, I kinda freaked out but he just kept talking to me, asking me questions to distract me and it worked. Later I found out that he was pretty freaked out as well, but he needed to help me.
We went back to my apartment and watched half of the Incredibles. We were sitting on the couch and then he kissed me. I was soooo surprised he did this. I thought he would take things super slow, but nope. :)
It was midnight and he had to go. After he left, I was amazed by what happened this night. I had just spend almost 8 hours with this guy I barely knew, but it felt like 2 hours. I had so much fun with him and I was so happy that he liked me.

May 9th 2016- Met my family

I was so nervous for him to meet my family. My grandparents came over as well. The entire night I was stuttering over my words and acting so awkward. I really wanted my family to like him. I was still struggling though knowing if I even liked him. My family did like him which I felt very relived about, but I needed to figure out my own feelings.

Breakfast Dates- The amount of food we can consume is ridiculous.
Yes, we may have eaten everything off our plates.

May 14th 2016- Experience in the Provo City Center sealing room

Josh went out of town for a week. During this week I went out on 4 dates with other guys. The entire time I was on these dates, I couldn't stop thinking about Josh and comparing them to him. I really missed him. 

While working in the Provo City Center temple, I had been praying about if I should date Josh exclusively or not. I was standing in a sealing room (#5) by myself, I looked at the alter and an image of Josh and I there came into my mind so clearly. I could see us getting married. The spirit came flooding into the room and I started to cry. I was so scared that I quickly left the room and wiped my tears and continued on with my duties. Later I was in that same room watching a sealing and the same image popped into my mind. 

After this experience I decided that I should probably date Josh. That night I told him that I was ready to date when he was.

May 15th 2016- Asked me to be his girlfriend

Sunday night we were just finishing up with feeding his brother and sister-in-law and other sister dinner, having another couple over for dessert and games. We were exhausted. I was sitting on his couch, and he was sitting on the coffee table in front of me. He told me that he had a plan to ask me to be his girlfriend on Tuesday. But we had invited Cassie and her boy to come along, so he didn't think it would work out. He was going to have his roommates cover my car in red starbursts (favorite candy) and when we came down from our hike he would ask me. 

He told me this plan, and then said "But what would you do if I asked you right now?"

I got super awkward and just sat there and didn't say anything. He then asked me if I would be his girlfriend and I said yes. We had pretty much been exclusively dating since our first date, but now it was "official." 

I knew that this was right. I really liked him and I knew he was different from any other guy I've dated.

Tuesday Hiking Adventures. "Lost Creek Falls"
Rock hitting my head
Josh and I try to go on a hike once a week, typically on Tuesday nights. I've decided that our relationship is based off of two things. 1) Hiking 2) Making bets. This hike was pretty intense, a rock fell on my head and I got really scraped off. I learned on this hike how much I appreciate Josh. He will always make sure I'm okay and be there to take care of me, but if I want to do something sketchy or adventurous, he is always right behind me supporting me and doing it along with me. He has never tried to control my life or tell me what to do. He is always there supporting me and guiding me.
After we had gotten to the top, hiking down we ran the entire way. Josh will never let me win easily. We ended up racing and I lost miserably, which wasn't fair due to his long legs and my short ones...he definitely had the advantage.

May 16th 2016- "I love you" 

The night before we were sitting outside my car talking. We were hugging and I asked him what he was thinking. He said he was debating tell me something, when I asked him what he said it wasn't the right time. The next night we were sitting in my car, yet again talking about our lives (we tend do to this every night) and he grabbed my face and kissed me. After kissing me he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me. I told him that he couldn't love me, he barely even knew me. He told me "Yes I can. I do love you." I asked him how, we hadn't known each other for even a month yet. He told me it's just how he feels so he was going to tell me. I learned a valuable lesson from Josh. I learned to always be honest with how you feel. Often people hold back expressing how they feel because it's not socially correct, you are worried what they other person may think or say back or you simply over think it. Josh doesn't do this, he is always honest with me and everyone else. He never holds back anything, which I love. It was fast to say "I love you" but I am grateful to have a boy who knows how he feels and is never afraid to express it to anyone. I know Josh loves me by how he treats me and talks to me. He did love me, it was quick and I didn't know you could fall in love with someone so quickly, but he did.

May 19th 2016- "I love you" back.
I had been thinking and pondering a lot how love felt and if I was in love with Josh. My entire life I wondered what love felt like. I had a few guys before Josh tell me that they love me and I told them I loved them back, but I was always wondering if I actually loved them or I just really liked them. I didn't want to tell Josh I loved him unless I meant it. I had thought about saying it a few times before this day, but I wanted to be sure. 
On Tuesday Josh came with me to watch Preston. We took him to feed the ducks. Josh automatically connected with Preston, and Preston decided he liked Josh more than me. He wanted Josh next to him all the time and always wanted Josh to help him. I felt a little demoted. This day I was exhausted due to us staying up way to late the night before. While laying on the blanket at the park, I accidentally fell asleep. I overheard Josh while I was half way asleep tell Preston to let me sleep because I had a long day. Josh was fine with just taking care of Preston for me so I could quickly take a nap. This made me realize how kind and selfless he was. He continued to play with Preston and was so good with him. I kept thinking over and over again how much I loved him. I was so nervous to tell him. I went to tell him multiple times but couldn't get it out. 
Finally, I got up, sat behind him and put my arms around him. I whispered in his ear "I love you." He paused and looked at me. He expressed that he had never felt like he did in that moment. That he had never had anyone tell him that. He looked into my eyes, smiled and said "I love you too." Then gently kissed me. Preston needed more attention after that, so it was a quick moment but I will always remember that brief moment. I still wondered what true love felt like and I still wondered if I was truly in love with Josh, but I was thinking it so I said it. 

May 20th 2016- Fancy date

   This date was one of my all time favorites. We had a wedding reception to go to, so Josh asked me out to go on a "Facy date" because we would have already been dressed up. We quickly helped his brother with dropping his car off at a repair store and then we were off. I asked him where we were going and he said "La Jolla Groves. Have you ever been there?" I got so excited and confused at the same time because this was my all time favorite restaurant, but I had never told Josh that. I asked him how he figured out that was my favorite restaurant. He said he didn't know, while he was getting his haircut he asked his hairdresser of a nice restaurant and she told him La Jolla so he decided to trust her and go with that.
La Jolla was so fun. He got appetizers, fancy lemonades and such tasty food. It was fun to go out to a nice restaurant and enjoy each others company.
   After we went to Niki Muirbrooks wedding reception together. This is where he first met a lot of my friends and people in the ward. Sister Dixon called him a "Tall glass of water" and everyone loved him.
After the wedding reception we couldn't' figure out something to do. Kayci and mentioned Utah lake so we decided to drive over and check it out. We got out of the car and walked to the rocky shore. We found some nice rocks and Josh made a seat out of it. It was windy and kind of cold but we sat by the water and talked about how we were raised. We discussed things we liked about how our parents raised us and things we wanted to do differently. We talked about our past memories and how we wanted to raise our own kids.
   After kissing a little we decided to head out. Before heading out though I told him I wanted to do something. I turned on some music and I taught him how to waltz and the fox trot. We danced for about an hour. I loved this. I loved dancing with him and being so close to him. We talked more and enjoyed just being together. Before leaving we attempted to take some photos but due to the wind he couldn't ever keep his eyes open so we gave up after taking about 15 pictures.
I was then craving a krispy cream doughnut. We went to krispy cream at 11pm and got three doughnuts. While eating our doughnuts I may have shoved his doughnut in his face and he automatically did the exact same thing back. That is something I love about Josh. He will never just let me get away with something and will never just let me win. We always are getting in fights with water, food..etc. I am constantly loosing, which doesn't make me happy at all but it pushes me to be better. I also love how much he makes me laugh. He brings so much joy into my life. 

May 22nd 2016- Met his family

This was an extremely nerve racking day. Josh is the 2nd oldest out of 11 children. I had studied his siblings names for about 2 weeks. Caleb, River, Rebecca, Bethany, Sarah, Naomi, Lidia, Rachel, Adam and (). I made him go over them over and over again before getting to his house in South Jordan. We went up with his sister Rebecca which was fun because I was able to get to know her personally and really talk to her. We got there and they all ran up to him and was so excited to see their older brother. I was pretty impressed with myself because I knew all their names, came a lot easier than I thought. They all hugged me as well, even his dad. The night was a busy one trying to get to know them all. They reminded me a lot of my family. Josh and I were definitely raised the same way. His mom had specifically made me a dairy free meal and desert. I love how Josh is always watching out for me and making sure I don't get sick from eating dairy. We talked a lot and my favorite part was at the end. Every Sunday night they gather together and sing hymns instead of reading the scriptures. I was able to play the piano for them and I felt the spirit a lot. Josh doesn't have a bad voice, he actually has quite a nice voice. 

It was a good night. I was worried about connecting with them, but I was determined to do it. I really felt loved and I felt like I fit in quite well. I really enjoyed his family.

May 23rd 2016-Asked me what I would do if he asked me to marry him soon. Talked about dating for 6 months and being engaged for 3 months after, getting married in December. We were hiking and brought it up. We made this plan but it quickly changed.

May 24th 2016- One month since meeting. Gave me the shell

This was the month mark of us meeting. It was crazy to me that it had only been a month of this guy and I already felt like he was my absolute best friend, that he knew me better than anyone and that I could just spend the rest of my life with him. People always told me to take it slow and not rush things. I was always determined to do so, but in the back of my head I knew that once I met the right guy, things would go fast. I was in love with this boy. I had never dated someone so pure, righteous, kind and gentle. I realized that he was perfect for me in every way but I was still scared out of my mind and I didn't want to admit this to myself because I wanted to follow what everyone was telling me. I didn't want to disappoint anyone and I didn't want anyone to judge us. After a lot of time and praying I realized that it's not about other people. It was between Josh, myself and Heavenly Father. That if God wanted me to marry him, then he would let me know and I would need to follow, despite what everyone thought.

Josh had to work extra late this night. He stopped by on his way home from Brick Oven and asked me to go on a walk. While we were walking he stopped me in front of Liberty Square. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a shell. He told me of how on his mission he picked this shell up and decided he would give it to the person he would want to spend the rest of his life with. He looked at me and said "I want you to have this. I have never felt right giving it to anyone else. This morning I knew I was going to have to work late and I wanted to do something that showed you that you were more important to me than my job. I saw this on my dresser and knew that you were the girl I would give it to. I love you Rachel Atkinson." 

I was so honored, a little scared and freaked out because I could tell this was a big deal to him, but mainly I felt joy. I could tell that Josh loved me. It meant so much to me that he told me I was more important to him than his job and that he was willing to express that to me. I am amazed by this boy. How could someone so perfect love me? I am truly the luckiest girl alive.

May 25th 2016- Got my answer in the Provo City Center Temple

I was falling hard for Josh and I needed to know if what I was doing was the right thing. I had been missing to actual work in the temple as a patron. I work as a temple worker every Saturday but I was craving doing actual work. I decided to go to the Provo City Center Temple and do initiatories with the question in my mind if dating Josh was the right thing to do. Far back in my mind I also wanted to ask if I was suppose to marry this boy, but I was to afraid to ask because I didn't feel ready for an answer.  

While I was waiting for my turn I was reading the scriptures. I had randomly opened up to the Doctrine and Covenants and read a verse that said that God was happy with where I was going. I knew that was my answer. I felt at peace and I felt confident.

As the night went on the questions of me marrying him kept pressing at my mind. I still was scared to ask but as I set in the Celestial room I gained enough courage to ask my Heavenly Father if Josh was the one I was suppose to spend Eternity with. I asked Him and then opened up the scriptures. I opened up to the chapter in Doctrine and Covenants about celestial marriage, then flipped a few pages and read a verse.
Previously while on my mission I had an experience in the Gilbert Temple while reading the scriptures. The scripture had said that I would marry among the Elders of the land. At that time I thought it meant one of the missionaries I was currently serving with, but now I see the meaning behind this experience.
I read this verse also found in D&C that said something along the lines of "I know you desire a companion and I will send thee Eden Smith." But what I read was "Elder Smith." Chills ran down my back and I knew I was going to marry Josh. I sat in silence pondering this experience and then felt that I should go back into a sealing room. I did and when I walked in I could again, clearly picture Josh and I kneeling across the alter being sealed to one another. I teared up a little and felt so much peace and joy. I left the temple this day knowing who I was to marry and knowing that the promise in my patriarchal blessing, that I would receive confirmation that he is to be my husband came true.
I was a little nervous and surprised that my answer came so quickly that I asked Heavenly Father to continue giving me small answers until we got married.
I am still getting answers to day and this was a month ago. Every time I doubt vivid memories of Josh and I or memories of answers I had received from God come flowing through my mind. Even last night, when I thought he was going to purpose, I started getting nervous and second guessing myself, I quickly prayed and asked God to give me another answer that he is the one to be my husband. A few minutes later Josh was holding my hand and looked at me in the eyes. He expressed how his hands will always be mine, that I never need to be afraid of his hands and that they will always protect me. He prayed over the food that night that I would know and feel the love he has for me. Little things like this reminds me that I am going to marry the most incredible human being on this earth and I cannot wait.

May 27th 2016- Flour and Egg fight. Jumping into the pool in our clothes after
This night we had such a blast. Josh got a couple of people together and we went on a huge group date. He had planned where we would do crab soccer, flour dodge ball and an egg toss. Everything was going extremely well until I decided to chuck an egg at Josh. Something I love about Josh is that he never just lets me win. He will always fight back and will never let me get away with anything. Our night turned into a huge egg fight and flour fight. Josh and I were covered in dirt, flour and egg...so were all the other couples. After we finished we decided to go back to Josh's for Popsicle's. Once we got there Josh looked at me and asked if I wanted to jump in the pool. I was pretty surprised, here is this good, good boy wanting to jump into a pool covered in gunk and in our clothes. Of course I said yes and we quickly jumped in. We swam around for awhile until we decided we should probably go join our group that Josh had invited over. We went to his apartment, had Popsicle's and  then everyone left except for Wade and Hika.
We all decided to jump into the pool and after about 2 hours of swimming and playing sharks and minos we got out and changed then went to watch Lord of the Rings. When we got back to my apartment Josh received a text that someone needed a priesthood blessing. He quickly got Wade and off they went. This is another thing I love about Josh, he is always a worthy priesthood holder and will always put his priesthood duties first. Hika and I stayed behind and caught up. She and Josh had been friends for years and knew he very well. She told me how lucky I was to be dating Josh. That every boy she dates she always compares them to Josh because she wants to marry someone just like him. She went on to tell me so many incredible things about Josh and how special he is. I felt like the luckiest girl alive to have such an incredible guy dating me. This night was another small answer that I was suppose to marry Josh. 

June 5th 2016- Talked to his parents about getting married
June 8th 2016- Asks my dad to marry him

Financial goals- To have enough money to donate more time.
June 16th-19th 2016- Wyoming Trip

June 21st 2016- Fake Proposal Tandem Bike

I had thought for sure today was the day he was going to proposed. He had the entire day off, he told me that this would be a special date so look nice...everyone was acting weird and acting like I was going to get engaged and they knew....I just knew it. 

After working with Preston we started driving to my house in SF when my mom called him. He was pretty easy to read, they were definitely planning something special. We stopped by Cafe Rio because I was starving...but he wouldn't let me eat it until after we walked on the

path and made brownies. Which I thought was stupid because I was starving, but I did as I was told. While driving home from Cafe Rio, I suddenly got extremely nervous and overwhelmed. I stared to doubt everything and didn't know if I wanted to get engaged. I quickly prayed and asked Heavenly Father if this was right, because if it wasn't I would call it off right then. My mind was suddenly filled with all the previous answers I had received and all the incredible experiences I had with Josh and I knew that what we were doing was right.

We got to my house and started to make brownies. After we were done making them he told me he had a surprise for me in the garage. We went out and there was a beautiful tandem bike sitting in the garage. We got on it and rode around the area while waiting for the brownies to be done cooking. After they were done we took them out and started on our journey down to the path I love in SF. We rode down the path and I was loving every moment of it. I LOVE TANDEM BIKES! We got to the park and went to the gazebo, as we were riding up I saw my mom running away and I knew Josh was about to proposed. We got to this beautiful gazebo, right next to the pond and it was covered in lights with a cafe rio and brownie picnic nicely set up. It was soooo cute.

I sat down and he keeled down and started to take everything out of his pockets...but no ring. I was so confused, I looked around and I noticed that the brownies were nicely stacked. I knew the ring was in the brownies. I laid down and looked up and saw Maren in the bushes. There was no way he wasn't going to propose. 

We started to talk and had a wonderful conversation about our missions. I remember thinking to myself that I just needed to relax and enjoy the conversation and not be so curious what was going on. After, I was really happy I did this because I really did enjoy our conversation and I wouldn't have if I continued trying to figure everything out.

After he offered me a brownie and I knew it was about to happen. I took the top brownie off and there was nothing in the stack of brownies. I was so sad! He really wasn't going to propose. But a part of me still wondered if he had something tricky planned up his sleeve.

After we were done we took some pictures, packed up and called my mom to come pick up all the stuff and we rode home.

On the way home he asked me if I thought he was going to propose. I said "Of course I did. Why didn't you?!" He then went on to tell me how he thought he would have the ring by now but he still didn't have it...yadada (he picked up the ring the next day). 

Even though he didn't propose, it was a wonderful date that I highly enjoyed. I love Josh so much because he truly cares. He does things just to make me happy. He goes above and beyond and always puts a smile on my face and makes me feel so loved and important.
I was a beautiful, ideal summer night...even though we didn't get engaged. 

June 22nd 2016- HE PROPOSED!!

This day was a hectic day for the both of us. We had planned to go to the Payson temple and do sealing together after meeting up with Sister Hansen from my mission for dinner. I was so excited to get all cute, but then I realized that I worked till 4 instead of 1 and we were suppose to leave at 4:30. So when I got off work I rushed over to his place and we quickly got ready. I had my hair up in a greasy pony tail and my make-up was barely done. I then had lost my temple clothes, so that added on another 20 minutes of frantically looking for my temple clothes to just realize that they were at my house in SF. 

We finally got to Sister Hansen 30 minutes late. Dinner was nice, but she did give me my first piece of lingerie It was SO awkward. She made me pull it out in the middle of the restaurant and hold it up. Josh was dying from laughing so hard. He handled it a lot better than I thought he was...way better then me, I was apparently extremely red.  

We left and went back to my house in SF to get my temple clothes, but Josh wanted to help my mom with packing up for the trek, so we did that and then we just sat around the house for a bit. He was being so slow. (I did try on my new lingerie secretly in the bathroom, it looked awful and I hated it. Then when I got out of the bathroom Josh knew exactly what I was doing...so awkward yet again.)

We finally got to the temple and I was so excited. I loved being in the temple with the person I was going to marry, where I was going to marry him. We looked around and got to see the room we were going to be sealed in. I was amazed at how beautiful it was, I was also so excited. 

We were called in to do sealings and the sealer said we only had a few to do, which I thought was odd and I was a little sad because I love being in the temple for a long time. When it was our turn to do a sealing, it was so neat. I knew I was going to do this with him soon. I was so excited. It was such a neat experience. The sealer then wanted to tell us all the history about the room we were in and it was so fascinating, but apparently Josh was dying because he had everyone get there at 8:30pm and it was already 8:50. After I wanted to go look at the sealing room again, but Josh told me to let other people have that opportunity, so I said we could wait but he said we can just come back. I was sad but I said okay. We then went to the celestial room, and he was so anxious to leave...which I did not want to leave. Then his contact fell out, so we had to leave. I felt like it was such a quick temple trip and it was weird how fast Josh wanted to go, because that wasn't like him.

We got to the dressing rooms and I decided I wanted to see the brides room. So the sweet temple worker showed me it and all the beautiful details. After I was dressed (about 20 min later, at this time is was 9:15ish), I came out to Josh on the couch asking where I had been. 

Anyways, we went outside and I asked him if we could put our bags in the car before walking around. He said yes, but he had the ring in his temple bag, so while I was putting my bag in the trunk he sneaked the ring out and put it in his pocket without me knowing.

We started walking and got to a spot in front of the temple with the water feature. He stopped but I kept wanting to walk. He grabbed my hand and said wait. He then started talking about how crazy that God can create all of this and is in control of everything. He talked about how he made it so we could meet....and I can't remember anything else he said. Haha I started to walk away and he said "Wait Rachel." He put his hand in his pocket, pulled out the little black box and right when I saw it I freaked out and ran the other way. I stopped and looked back at him and he was down on one knee. Before he could say anything I ran back to him and kissed him...totally ruined a moment. But I think he asked me and I think I said yes...I can't really remember any of that part. 

The ring was incredible. He had customized it, so I had never seen anything like it. I LOVED it. 

He then turned around and two secret photographers (people he worked with at brick oven) came out and took more pictures of it. They had captured all of it without

me even knowing. Josh then said he had another surprise for me. We walked around the temple and found all my friends, family and all his friends and family. Everyone was there. He had 2 dozen flowers waiting for me (they were even the same color as our wedding colors).

After chatting with everyone we went back to my house for cupcakes that Josh's mom had made (she even made me dairy free ones) and drinks. 

It was a two day proposal and it was more then I could ever have imagined. He covered everything and all my wildest dreams. I am so excited to marry Josh on Oct 6th 2016 at 11:30am in the Payson temple. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world.

Link with all the photos of the engagement: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B8TDd5ICiF5_Q3NxM1NiOWZsQ0E

October 23rd 2016

WE FINALLY GOT MARRIED!! It was October 6th 2016 when Josh and I sealed the deal for time and all eternity. It was the most special and sacred day of my life. The sealing was everything I could ever imagine.

The week leading up to being sealed was the most stressful, overwhelming and anxious week of my life. I was overwhelmed by every emotion. Fear, excitement, stress, peace, uneasiness, anxiety, prepared and under prepared. I felt everything.

I remember the day before Josh and I got sealed so many tender mercies happened but nothing could calm my anxiety. Josh and I were walking to my car after our last class on Wednesday and I he asked me to close my eyes. I thought he was crazy. We were walking down a hill on campus and the last thing I wanted to do was look like an idiot, but I did. :) He lead me down the hill talking to me the entire way. Asking me over and over "Do you trust me?" I would quickly respond "YES, this is dumb!" But he would continue to lead me. We got to the street and he said that this was my last test. He asked me "Do you trust me enough to lead you across the street with your eyes closed?" I knew in my heart that I trusted him with everything that I had. He walked me across the street and he had me open my eyes. I remember thinking to myself what he had done was the easiest thing, it didn't push me at all. He told me I must trust him a lot and then told me to trust him that he loved me so much and that us getting sealed tomorrow is the right thing. 

I finally felt at peace. Josh always knows what to do and what to say to calm my anxiety and bring me peace. After, he allowed me to read his patriarchal blessing. (I had been so patient for this moment, I wanted to read his so badly but I rarely brought it up because I knew it was his to share.) It was such a tender moment and I knew once again, that I was suppose to marry him.

That night a bunch of people from my mission came over for dessert. Robin Jordan, Jeff and Carol Jordan, Sister Wittmann and Addy, Baylynn Anderson, Katie Kratzer, Sarah Kramer and Lauren Finch. We sat around and talked while eating dessert. It made my entire night to see them again and that they had all traveled up just to be at my wedding. Chaunte Graham also came up with Brooklynn the next day.

The morning of I woke up without any anxiety, just peace and excitement. We ate breakfast as a family, I got ready and then Josh and I were off to the Payson, UT temple. We got there and were greeted by a cute senior couple who helped us through the entire day. We met up at the staircase where I ran into Sister Whittaker and when she saw me she embraced me and cried for awhile. 

We went and did our short veil ceremony and then got to sit in the celestial room for a minute. It was crazy to think next time I was in that room I would be married. 

They couple came and got us and brought us to President Nattress (Now Elder Nattress of the seventy). President took us into a different room and talked to us. 

He advised us to always kneel down each day and while holding hands pray out loud, thanking Heavenly Father for one another and our marriage. He talked about how Josh upholds his priesthood. How when he plays with the kids, takes me on walks, helps clean the house, goes out on date night was all upholding his priesthood. I had never thought of doing those things upholds his priesthood, but it all makes sense. He then told us that when we serve in the church, in the various callings that we will have. That to measure the success of that calling isn't by how many people you reactivate (which is good) but it is how much you love your spouse after. If you love your spouse more than before the calling, then you served successfully. I loved that council and direction. 

He then took us into the sealing room, which was filled with about 75 people. All our family, friends and people from the mission. I was overwhelmed with the feeling of love that was in that room. Josh and I sat on the bench while holding hands with one another and with our mothers who were sitting next to us (with Grandma Audrey and his Grandmother on either side of our moms). Our dads were on the opposite side of the room as witnesses. It was incredible to have both our parents be worthy to be in there, participating in this sacred ordinance.

We were sealed after president gave more council (pretty much the same as what he had told us previously). Walking to the alter was pretty intense. I made everyone laugh when I took a deep breath and said to my self "Okay, I got this. I can do it." While we were being sealed I felt so much love for Josh. I would look at him, and then he would look at me. He would squeeze my hand twice and I would do it back. He was holding my other hand. It was such a sweet experience. Once he was done and we were sealed I said to him "Kiss me!!" and Josh said back "Gladly" and that was it, I was now Rachel Smith!!

After we hugged everyone who came, I hurry and got ready in the very uncomfortable dress, we took pictures...LOTS of pictures, and then went to the luncheon at La Jolla groves. 

I was so uncomfortable that I almost lost it, once we got there Tanner came and helped me take off that wedding dress. I felt 100 times better. But then while going to the bathroom realized I started my period. Great. Every brides worst nightmare. Luckily Josh and I had talked about it beforehand, so we were already planning on it happening. I ran out to the car, got a tampon, put it in while being in the car and went back to eat. It was a beautiful lunch surrounded by family and friends. Tanner got asked to speak and said the kindest things. Something she said that has stuck in my mind was "Everyone who meets Rachel and spends some time with her, leaves uplifted and edified. She loves everyone and everyone loves her." River got up and spoke about my wonderful husband. Our dads spoke, Brad said that I was a very straight forward girl and my dad said that he wouldn't want anything more for me than Josh. I said some things and then Josh spoke. Josh sincerely thanked my family for being so warm and inviting to him. He started to cry, I started to cry, my mom started to cry and then my dad started to cry (which was the only time he cried during the whole wedding). Josh has a way with words that pierces everyone souls. 

After lunch we went to the reception which meant I had to get back into that dress. This time Tanner helped me get in it so it was much more comfortable. We took MORE pictures (I was surprisingly done with pictures.) Then the night began. 

To sum up the reception, it was everything I could imagine. The decorations, venue, food (which I didn't get to eat), pictures, cake, flowers...everything. My mom helped so much and gave me my dream wedding. We stood in a line for about 2 hours. The line was constant and sooo long, people told me it went all the way down the hall and past the elevator. So many people came. We then cut the cake which I proudly smashed in Josh's face, but he was so kind not to do it back. Then we dance while Cayson sang our song by Ben Rector. We then danced with our parents and off we went. I hurried and got ready and we ran down the sparkler tunnel to our car. The car was covered in wrapping paper, plastic wrap, white paint and balloons. Luckily Josh cleared the back seat because one of his friends were in the backseat. 

We were off. 

It was truly the best and most quick day of my life. I wish I could do it again so I could actually thoroughly enjoy the day. It went by so fast but it was so great. 

We went to Park City for the honeymoon and it was perfect. Everything I could have imagined. We had no issues and had a blast spending 3 full days together...alone. We got a massage, walked main street and got a caramel apple and a Utah board. Ate dinner at the blue iguana. The next day we went to the Olympic park which was both of our favorites. SO MUCH FUN! We rode the zip line, did the tubing, alpine slide, ropes course, and watched the ski jumpers jump off and do tricks into water. It was so much fun!! We went swimming that night and decided to go get a fancy dinner. All I wanted was Salmon...so after an hour of searching, we finally found a place. We got there at 8:45 and when we got there she told us they were closing tomorrow for a month and were pretty much out of everything...including salmon. We ate there anyways because it was to late to find somewhere else. The food was awful. So we wasted $70 on nasty food, but it made us laugh! :)

The next day we went home, went to church, had both our families over to eat dinner and open gifts and then the next day started up normal life as BYU married students. 

It was perfect and everything I could ever ask for. I felt the spirit so strongly and felt at peace. I have never felt so calm, continent, and happy in my life. I love Joshua. He is my everything. He does everything he can to make me happy. He is so helpful and patient. He is everything I could ever ask for in a husband. I love him with my entire heart and soul.